On why I could never adopt the "normal" way...

On Monday we got a call asking if we had space for twin boys. Now, technically, we didn't, but my director allowed us to say yes to them anyway (2 of our current kids should be leaving soon). The social worker said he'd "try" to do the paperwork by Tuesday, meaning we could fetch them Wednesday. However, when I called late Tuesday afternoon, no paperwork had been done! This meant we couldn't get our babies until Friday - 3 whole days away!

With their social worker

Driving home from bible study Tuesday night I was ranting to Anna about how people "just need to give me my babies!" This whole thing of them having to be all alone in a hospital only 15 minutes away, just because of a piece of paper, was just not ok! Then, I had a sudden revelation about how families that apply for adoption must feel.

With one of the nurses (still in hospital gowns!)

Our Tiny Terror who is leaving tomorrow has been matched with his family for almost a month now. They've known all about him (a 20 page report is pretty comprehensive!), had pictures, and known he was somewhere in Johannesburg. Surely the knowledge that your baby is out there somewhere without you must drive you crazy! Many international families sit without their babies for months before the actual placement can take place.

Me and Sue-Ellen with "our" babies

Anyway, our story had a happy ending. I'd e-mailed the social worker on Tuesday, pleading to at least visit the kids if we couldn't go and fetch them. He phoned around 10 Wednesday morning, explaining that he didn't have a car, so he couldn't get to the hospital, but if I could provide transport, then we could go get my babies. Apparently he'd picked up the slightly desperate vibe in my e-mail! The whole process took about 5 hours, but in the end, my twins are home!

My twins at home - what cuties!

The process of picking them up at the hospital also gave me a deeper understanding for my Tiny Terror's parents. I have to admit that I have been viewing them as the "baddies" in the story of tomorrow. All my panicky tunnel vision is able to see is that these strangers are coming to my house, to take my child, and all the pain and sorrow it will bring to all of us. And it will be sad - he doesn't understand why he won't see us anymore, the other kids don't understand where he has gone, and we Aunties are going to miss him SO much!

Me and babies with another sad nurse

But, I'd forgotten about the excitement! Our twins had been at the hospital from birth (nearly 3 months), and the nursing staff had grown very attached to them. When we arrived and they were told we were taking the babies to a home, they all started crying! They were happy the twins would be looked after, but they were going to miss them. And, I have to admit, I found myself thinking, "but this is so great for these babies! How can you be sad that they are going to a loving place? Surely you wouldn't really be so selfish as to want to keep them?" Suddenly it hit - this is exactly what the New Parents will be thinking tomorrow! Their excitement for taking their son home will overshadow everything else, and it really is a GOOD thing.

Both my boys, with their new mommy

The short term suffering had been keeping me from remembering the long term blessings. Our Tiny Terror will have a FOREVER family, with no more disruptions or loss or confusion. He'll have a DADDY (and Daddies are a very sought after commodity in this country), and a Mommy (ok, still slightly jealous of her), and even a Big Sister. He'll have a big yard, with toys that he doesn't have to fight over, and all the attention that even he could ever want. He'll miss us for a while, but eventually that will fade, and hopefully he'll only remember how much we loved him.

It will be a GOOD thing.



But I still might cry.