1) Car Guards
Everywhere you go in South Africa there are car guards. They stand in the parking lots and "help" you park, reverse, and put your shopping in the car, and expect you to tip them for it. Now I respect that these people have a right to earn a living, and I do tip them if they've been of actual help, but they are employed by the shopping center they work for and they annoy me to no end. I can park and reverse perfectly well all on my own, and, as a rule, they like to directly behind you so you can't see and worry about hitting them! And, if I could put the groceries into the cart, there is a good chance I can get them into my car.2) Pap
Pap is the staple food of most South Africans, as the Northern Irish have their potatoes. It comes with nearly every meal (even breakfast). Resembling mashed potato in appearance, if not texture, it is made from boiling mealie-meal (flour made from maize) until it thickens. The texture is something like eating sand and, if left for an hour or more in the pot, it congeals into an impossible to remove plastic-like substance. Most of our volunteers don't mind it, and in truth, it isn't THAT horrible, but I really don't like it and won't eat it unless it would be rude not to do so. The aunties know that on the days they make pap I will be having bread with lunch.3) Breakfast Foods
South Africa seems to have an obsession with eating things for breakfast that quickly become mushy, or which have the texture of beach sand. The few "american" breakfast cereals they do have are either so expensive or so cardboary that they don't quite seem like home. Breakfast which used to be my favorite meal of the day is no longer. However, they have recently brought out "honey cheerios" which are almost like honey-nut cheerios. I've been living off of them for about 6 months now!4) Mopping
By now most people have heard my rant about mopping. South Africans are obsessed with things looking clean. And if you dare to walk across a newly mopped floor, well shame on you! Even if you're in a busy mall or airport and they've mopped the entire width of the floor. Surely you know how to levitate? Mopping takes precedence over all activities. When I was in the hospital with our kids, when the mopper came in, you had to get out, even if your child was upset. And finally, the moppers stand there with the yellow caution signs, which we would use to save us a lawsuit, and FAN the floor with them. As if it will suddenly become dry. During which time I am convinced they aim the things at your shins to disable you being able to walk across their fresh clean floors.5) Disparate Education and Cultural Differences
A Private School Classroom
A Township Classroom
One of the residual effects of Apartheid is a highly distinct educational system among the rich and poor. The rich generally send their children to private schools, or at least live in an area where the government schools are respectable. During recent government teacher strikes, very few suburban schools were affected while schooling in the townships ground to a halt. Township children are crammed into classrooms, their teachers rarely bother showing up for class, and they are expected to do all their work at school because they cannot take their books home with them. During this recent strike children were expected to prepare for their most important exams alone, without books or teachers, and some that I know failed their grade because their teachers could not even be bothered administering the exams.Additionally, the differing levels of education mean that what I would consider common knowledge is most definitely uncommon. Many things I take for granted, like knowing who Jane Austen and Charles Dickens are, understanding the concept of nutritional labels, or a basic knowledge of how your immune system functions, are completely foreign to the people I work with. Not because they are stupid, but because they were never taught. So I live on a balance of trying to help them understand without sounding condescending to a person 3x my age.
6) Walls, walls and more walls
Everywhere you look around in urban and suburban south africa you will find houses surrounded by walls. They offer security and comfort to the people inside, ensuring no one enters your property without permission and keeping your kids from contact with the outside world. Any yet, in every neighborhood there is one house open to the elements like an american house. Do they get robbed more frequently? I don't know. It baffles me how one family can think electric fencing is a necessity (I certainly like mine!) and other sleeps soundly with nothing but a pane of glass between them and the street.Other than the security considerations, I find the walls to be a bit claustrophobic. You cannot see the horison, can't see any but the tallest parts of your neighbors buildings, and rarely see your neighbors at all!
7) Poverty
One of the hardest things for a foreigner to adjust to here is the relatively close juxtaposition of squalor and luxury. When you arrive you are shocked and condemn the wealthy for living their lives and leaving others to suffer, and yet quickly you become immune, helping where you can and ignoring the general plight of the people around you. I think the problem is just so big that you can only focus on the things you can help with and you have to try and forget the rest. But at the same time, if every one with extra would give to those without, it seems the country would improve. I see people living at the edge of poverty who will be more generous than those in the stratosphere.But then comes the argument, and there is some truth to this, that you cannot simply "give" things to people - they need to be earning it. Much of the South African poor has an entitlement complex, strange as that may seem. They seem to think they deserve things, from the government because it was promised to them, such as houses, jobs, land. And from foreigners because they assume American accents come with American wealth. It is hard to know how to encourage independence without leaving people down in the filth.
8) BUGS!
Above and below a Parktown Prawn
South Africa has bigger bugs than anywhere I've ever seen. These beauties, confined to our area of Jo'burg, are called Parktown Prawns, named after the area they were discovered and their Prawn-like exoskeletons. They are scary both for their size, their ability to jump (in excess of a meter!) and the fact that they are nearly impossible to kill. "Considerable force" is needed to do them in - which is certainly quite considerable as I have seen one squashed with a brick and keep on jumping. Bug spray seems to do nothing to them, only aggravates them to release their second line of defense - a stink a skunk would be proud of. The most effective method I have found is to pour boiling water on them. However, this is obviously not practical in many situations.9) SPIDERS!
Above is a rain spider, my least favorite african animal. They can grow up to 12" in diameter, and often can be found in homes during our rainy season (just typing this is causing me to grow twitchy and glance toward the roof). Once I had one in my car, crawling across the passenger seat headrest, straight at me. Probably my most terrified moment yet. I can't kill them, can't live with them, just sit watching them in terror until one of the aunties comes and kills it for me. Yech!10) Being so far from home
Ok, when I lived in Scotland I was far too, but there it was only 14 hours away and 2 flights. Here, it can take upwards of 28 hours to travel between our two countries and costs an arm and a leg. I do feel a bit bad using a BA plane for this one though - they're my favorite part of the journey!
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